Come Shine Your Light, Come Shine Your Light, Come Shine Your Light On Meee

Alright. Once again I am being inspired by simple to do, around the house stuff. Don't ask me where or how I come up with these things...they're beyond me...

So0o let me paint the picture for you - 

I'm standing at the stove, heating up some water for a cup of tea. It's pretty late, and only the dining room light is on, making it a little hard to see...so I decide to flip on that little overhead stove light, and BaM...I notice a bunch of gunk all over my Mom's stove top. First thought? Eeww, what the heck! I couldn't even tell it was there until I turned the light on. Then what? Well, that little voice inside my head that likes to turn ever situation into some deep eye opening moment said, "That's what happens when you let the light in. All the junk is exposed. Not to make you feel bad, but to give you an opportunity to 'clean-up'." 

This thought took me back to the memory of when I first quit drinking. Boy was that a nightmare. I thought letting go of the bottle would have been a life enhancer for sure, but that year was probably one of the toughest of my life. I've never had so much anxiety! I knew quitting was what I wanted to do, but I never realized how much I had been using alcohol to suppress my feeling. Alcohol was my dark blanket. It covered up all my problems. Once I removed the blanket and let the "light" in, my problems were given a chance to be cleaned out. The light exposes us for who we are, and that's why it can be so scary at times to step into the light. People now a days spend all their energy working to cover up their problems, not expose them...but exposing them is the healthiest thing! Once you expose the problem you give the problem a way out. Instead of harboring your problem - let it go! 

Shine the light on that mess, grab a sponge from the sink and wipe it up! And keep that light on so the next time you make a mess you can easily clean it up :)

Yes, that first year without alcohol was tough...but now I can honestly say that my life is a million times better without it. Alcohol was my escape from the world, and with it gone I have so much more clarity and meaning in my life. 

What's your "alcohol?" What's your escape? It comes in many different forms. I'm sure I still have a couple "alcohols" in my life. We all have at least one. Find what yours is. Or better yet, let the light in and allow it to find your suppressant for you.

Life doesn't always make sense...okay...almost never does it make sense in my world LoL but there is a great design. I don't think anyone will ever truly figure out this design, and I'm not sure it's even healthy to try and figure it out...but there is something we can do...and that's to just accept that there is something bigger then us, and live each day knowing that the world is working in our favor. We are meant to be happy and balanced. If we'll just step aside and allow ourselves joy, then it will come. 

There really isn't much we have to do - we just have to believe.

Step by Step, Day by Day

Haha wish I could remember the rest of the words to that song...oh well...

Okay, so I'm back in Oregon and am feeling inspired to write a blog. Not sure if everything in Hawaii is just so perfect ;) that I don't feel the need to write, or what, but for whatever reason...here I am typing up a storm again. 

Where has this inspiration come from? Well...my Mom was showing me a bunch of these recovery pamphlet things she picked up from Church and I decided to read into them a bit further. If any of you are friends with my Mom on FB you know that she's in total inspiration/healing mode, which I applaud her on - way to go Mom! Keep doing what makes you happy, and don't worry about what I'm about to say about your pamphlets LoL :)

Anyways...I was looking through these pamphlets and instead of finding peace in them I started to get a little discouraged. Now, I know that these 12 step programs have helped numerous people recover from life-long destructive habits...but my brain must work a little differently, because in reading I couldn't help but think, "These are all just excuses." There were a handful of disorders, along with signs and symptoms discussed in the pamphlets, such as : Adult Children of Family Dysfunction - Judge self without mercy, hard to have fun, difficulty with relationships, constantly seek approval, look for immediate gratification, and they fear rejection or abandonment. Codependency - Assume responsibility for others feelings, difficulty expressing feelings, afraid of being hurt or rejected, afraid to express differing opinions, and they are embarrassed to receive recognition. The list goes on and on. Now, these are all very valid points, and if a person is feeling this way on a regular basis and it's controlling their lives then yes, there's a problem...but...haven't we all felt this way at one point or another? Is it really something that should be given a name or diagnosis? All it is, is the person holding onto whatever has happened to them in their past. It's nothing more then their own doing. We've all had unfortunate things happen to us, and we all have our problems that could use some fixing...but to me it seems like giving your problem a name and a reason is just a way of taking the responsibility off of yourself. 

Many of the root causes of the disorders were pointed back to childhood, which yes, is most likely where these problems arose from...but it wasn't your families fault, or your friends fault, or the guy in line who was mean to you's fault....it's your fault. Yep, I said it...your fault. No one can make you feel or do anything. You have the choice to make your own decisions. Yes, situations are unfortunate sometimes, but the only people that continue to have problems into their adult hood are the ones who refuse to let go of their past. The ones who constantly remind themselves of what happened to them when they were younger. You had a bunch of horrible stuff happen to you? Good, become stronger from it. What good is it doing you today to keep living in the crap you grew up in? 

I am all for acknowledging your problems so that they can be dealt with...but to give your problem a name, and then to define yourself by that problem...um...not so good. How are you ever going to get away from your problems if you label yourself by them? I feel comfortable talking about this because I know from personal experience what labeling yourself with a problem does to you, it makes you sicker and brings on more problems! When I was sick I spent years going to doctors trying to figure out what the heck was wrong with me, and the second I actually received a diagnosis was the second I got sicker. The thought of, "Oh, okay...so I really am sick," took hold of me and I used my "illness" as an excuse. I saw myself as a sick person, and a sick person was what I became. My stomach issues multiplied and everyday became a constant battle. I was blocking myself from getting better because I had labeled myself as sick. If you label yourself with something negative, you trap yourself. I know that not everyone's brain works like mine and that these programs do indeed work miracles, but I'm just saying...it doesn't make much sense to me, and it seems a lot easier to just say..."Yeah, I've got problems...but that ain't gunna stop me from being happy and continuing to live my life." Most of the time the problems will just lift on their own anyways. It's called realizing, accepting, and then living. Realize the problem, accept it, and then just live a happy life. Once you have realized and accepted something it makes living a lot easier. Ever been around a really annoying person or someone you just don't like? The moment you accept that person for who they are (annoying habits and all) is the moment you can tolerate them. Same goes with your problems. The moment you accept them is the moment you can move on with your life. Accepting doesn't mean labeling, it doesn't mean going around telling everyone...oh yeah, I act this way because I've got a co-dependency problem. No, it means realizing that you're on Earth, you're human, and that although there are a million things you probably could work on you are perfect right now. You are exactly where you are meant to be, and your life is in perfect alignment with your thoughts. Change your thoughts, change your life. Change your  environment, change your life. If you want to see a change you must make a change. If you want to get well, you must think well. 

Troubles do indeed exist in this world, I have accepted that...but I don't hold onto the troubles like I used to. It's kinda like taking life with a grain of salt...nothing is really THAT important. We all just wanna be happy...so why not focus on happy things? Address the issues, but do it in a healthy way. Turn inward and realize that only you can make you better. Those of you who believe only God can make you better, I agree 100%. When you turn inside you are turning to God. Without your permission God can't enter, so it really does all boil down to you. You know you better then anyone else, so don't rely on other people to make you happy or to "fix" you. That can only be done by your own work. There are unseen forces moseying about that will help you. Stop acting so desperate. Desperation is unattractive and in all honesty it's annoying. Believe in yourself and give yourself permission to be confident. You are just as able as the next person to do whatever it is you want to do. Quit limiting yourself. We are unlimited. We are boundless. We are infinite. We are all of the above and more...we just have to allow ourselves to be it.

Do yourself and the world a favor and lighten up :)

You Say It Best (when you say nothing at all)

Love me some country music! Actually, typing the lyrics to this long made me miss karaoke a little too much. I really need to find me a hoppin' spot out here somewhere.

AnyWho0o...

It is super, super early...I've been up since about 3am wide awake?! This is like the third day in a row now? It's really no biggie since I still have enough energy to get through my day, but it's just a little strange that I can only seem to sleep for like 2 or 3 hours at a time before I'm up and ready to go. Guess it's something I should just roll with.

I've been thinking off and on over the past couple of days about things I want to get off my mind. Words for instance. Language is such an important part of communication. It can make or break a conversation and it pretty much is our way of expressing ourselves to the people around us. Words have a ton of different meanings, and can even change meaning just by the tone of someones voice. 

So0o with that said, I must ask; have you ever been in the presence of a monotone speaker? You know...that person who says everything in the same tone of voice, with the same expression, as if there is no emotion what so ever behind anything they are saying? Um...talk about confusing! It's like the whole conversation takes on a new meaning. Not only are you trying to listen to what they're saying, but you are now forced to dissect ever word coming out of their mouth in order to make sense of what it is they're talking about. Brain explosion! How about when people ask you the same question over and over? Do you think my answer is going to change just because you're asking me again? Did you not hear me the first time? No, really...I'm confused...why are you asking me the same question five times in a row? Hearing problem? Do you like the sound of my voice? What? 

Or...haha you guys are gunna love me today, I'm totally ranting...it's great isn't it. How about when someone tells you to do the same thing over, and over, and over. Kinda makes you not want to do it, right? Frustration begins to take over, and all willingness is completely lost. Wouldn't life just be a whole lot easier if people butted out a bit, lived their life and let you live yours? Don't get me wrong, I love, Love, LoVe people. I wanna be around people and engage in conversation as much as I can, but things start to take a turn when the other person in the conversation is only thinking about themselves. It's easy to tell when a person is self-absorbed. Maybe I once was self-absorbed (or still am?) and that's why I can spot it, but it's definitely a major conversation turn-off to be in the presence of someone like that.

I got another one! Lol. How about the person who just always has to be talking? Talk, talk, talk. Never shut up. Always something to talk about. Gab, gab, gab. Hey yappy! It's cool. We can be quite. It's like they have to fill space so they MuSt think about something to talk about...and it's usually non-sense stuff, like making a big deal out of nothing, or um...repeating themselves for the 10th time.

Moral of the post? Use your freakin words like a normal human being so that other people can understand you clearly. Show some emotion in your face, change your tone of voice once in a while and maybe have a little more fun in life. Everything isn't a huge, major issue. Relax, people will want to be around you more. Guaranteed!

*Quick Note* I'm really not a horrible-complain about stuff type of person, but I think everyone can benefit from this little tid-bit of information. We're all here to get along, and how the heck are we suppose to get along with things like this holding us apart? Thanks for listening and I hope this smile :) can bring back SoMe form of positivity into your day.

Megan and Dr. Nick at Hawaiian Fasting Retreat Center

La De Dah

Well...I'm sittin here eating some watermelon and It's been a couple days since I last blogged, so I figured I'd write a little something. Only thing is, I can't really think of anything to write about! So, let see if I can pull something inspiring out of my eerr....outta thin air. LoL come on, my Grandma reads this - gotta keep it clean when I can! Love you Grandma :) 

Hhhmm...what do I wanna talk about? What has been on my mind? Well, I guess I can just start off by tellin ya what I've been up to. 

On Monday I started a high fruit (high carb.) raw food diet. I want to get in shape and ready for my upcoming yoga training, so I wanna make sure I'm feeling as good as possible. Now, if you've followed my blog you know that I've sorta struggled with the raw food. There is no doubt in my mind that I think it's the absolute best thing for our bodies to eat as pure as possible - which I've come to find that uncooked is as pure as it gets. Even though I believed in the raw 'path' I just couldn't seem to stick with it for longer than a week or so without caving into cravings for high calorie cooked foods. Why? I wasn't getting enough calories! I am super active - always on the go and constantly moving around...this requires a lot of fuel. If the gas tank on a car is empty it ain't gunna run - well, my tank was running on empty! I felt sleepy and kinda spacey a lot of the times, which is not what I wanted to feel like. Then, I came across this 80/10/10 book. Theory is to get 80% of your calories from carbs (higher calorie food) and the remaining 10/10 from protein/fat. Our bodies run on carbs. and fruit is the best carb source in the world...so I'm giving it a shot. I'm going on day 4 and I feel amazing! I've had so much energy. Eating a high volume of food is a little new to me though, and my body is adjusting...so it's not ALL peachy keen and perfect, but I know that there is always a transitioning period when life changes are made. Oh! I know what I can talk about! :)

It's becoming clear to me that having a plan is SO crucial! If you would have talked to me about planning things out about 2 months ago I would have laughed and said, "Plan? That's silly - just live. Agendas are stupid." While I do still believe it sounds nice to never have to write things down or think ahead...it just isn't realistic. We are adults. Which means we have responsibilities. Not all of us have responsibilities LoL...but most of do. You gotta have a plan. It's called setting a goal, and then working toward that goal. That's all a plan is - and it's so important! Without a plan we would just be wonder aimlessly through life...looking like lost little puppies. You gotta know what you want in life. Write it down, write it out and then act on it. Simplify your life to be geared toward what it is you want. Just know that planning isn't about being stuck in your ways and only doings things when and how you want them done - no, it's about being flexible and accepting the good with the bad. 

Being happy isn't about everything being perfect, it's about you being able to be happy even though things aren't perfect. Yeah, read that over a couple times. 

In any situation you can choose to be happy or angry. Bad things certainly do happen, but that doesn't mean we can't find a positive spin. When I first set out on this health journey I got sicker than ever! I had all these high expectation to be perfect since I was doin all these 'perfect' things. Whenever something was out of place, or I had a ache/pain I'd get all stressed out - "Why is this happening? I'm doing all the right things, I shouldn't be experiencing anything but perfection." You just can't live that way. Stuff isn't always going to go the way you had planned, getting to your destination isn't always going to be a straight narrow. There may be twists and turns that you didn't anticipate, but you gotta just buckle up and enjoy the ride. Who the heck wants to go on a roller coaster that only goes one way anyways? The loops and sharp turns are the reason we pay to ride - they're fun! Enjoy even moment of your life. You are having that moment for a reason. Don't try to figure out the reason (it will drive you crazy! Trust me - I know). Just live the moment and accept it for what it is. Be honest with yourself. Do what's right for you, and put a freakin' smile on your face :)

You Finally Know - You Control Where You Go (You Can Steer)

New Favorite artist? Missy Higgins! She's this chick from Australia, and I am absolutely in love with the tone of her voice. Her lyrics are pretty amazing as well. The title for today's post came from her song 'Steer' 

So, like the song says - we control where we go. We can map out a plan and steer our way positively through life. Common sense is such a gift. Questions are so powerful. If in everything you do, you ask yourself the question, "Is this adding value to my life and bringing me closer to where I want to be?" then getting to your destination would be a lot faster; that is of course if you go with your instincts and follow the progressive path. 

Trust me, I know this is such a hard task. Even though we all want to live the best lives imaginable we still somehow manage to screw things up. Why is this? Well, I'm certainly no expert, but I can tell you that from my own experience I've found that there is this deep seeded rebellious side to my personality. I almost always want to do the opposite of what I know I should do. LoL this doesn't mean that I act on those feelings of wanting to rebel, but the thought is there, and it pokes at me and causes all sorts of trouble. I'm getting a flash of the angel/devil thing on each shoulder. Haha. The good conscience and the bad conscience. I think the fact that we are all aware (well, most of us anyways) that there are good decisions and bad decisions makes complicating things a lot easier. 

There are always two routes we can take, and many times we spend our lives debating over which way to go. We stop at the fork in the road and stay there, thinking...instead of acting. We can think all we want, but we aren't going to go anywhere until we take a step. I am such a thinker. I think, think, think - but rarely ever act on what it is I know I should be doing. And, it's not even a matter of what I think I should be doing - it's more a matter of what I want to be doing. There are no should do or have to's in life. We can do whatever it is we want. We are free beings, equipped with minds of our own. Minds that can do, say, or think any and everything. If I am doing something it's because I want to. If I'm sitting on my rear being lazy - it's because I want to. If I am having a bad day and taking it out on other people - it's because I want to. Everything you do you are doing because you want to. Right after writing that sentence I had a scenario pop into my head of someone saying - "Well, I remember lots of times I've done things that I didn't want to do! What you just wrote is non-sense!" This could very well be true, but let me give you an example:

Your friend calls you and asks if you can help them move. You feel tired and really don't want to...but you go ahead and help them anyways. Okay, so you didn't want to help them move, but you did want to be a good friend. So, since you wanted to be a good friend, you did this thing you supposedly didn't want to do. Make sense? 

Just remember that there is a reason behind everything, and ultimately that reason comes back to you. You do things out of your own personal wants and needs. Everyone's desires are different. Continue asking yourself what it is you want out of life. Do you want lots of friends? Then be a good friend. Do you want lots of money? Then be a dedicated worker. Do you want a fit body? Then work out. Do you want to be healthy? Then eat the right foods. To every action there is a reaction. You get back exactly what it is you put out into the world. Your life is nothing more than a product of all the actions you've taken in the past. Does this mean that you are stuck and are going to have to pay for everything you've ever done? Absolutely not! The world doesn't hold grudges. As long as you make up your mind to start working in a more positive direction, one that is in line with your personal goals, then things will start to shift. Just trust in yourself and your capabilities and endless opportunities will come your way. Make a wish, but don't sit back and expect it to happen on wishing alone. Action is required, not all the work can be done through the mental side of things. Movement on the physical side is just as important. Life begins with a thought, but it continues through your dedicated action.

Inspiration From The Garden

Today was day two of my little garden making experiment. Dang, there is a ton of work that goes into making a garden. I had absolutely NO idea what I was getting myself into. 

Here's the thing - the place we decided to put the garden once had grass, so there are a butt load of roots all over! I looked up some information on roots and found out that it's best to remove all the roots so that they don't steal the nutrients from the stuff I'm planting. Pain in the rear! My back has never hurt so bad in my life! But, ya wanna know something good? As I was whacking away with my little garden tool I had a revelation! LoL okay maybe revelation is too strong of a word - I had some insight? You can call it whatever you want, but here is what I started thinking about....

I was pulling up this monster root and realized that I still had half way to go with the area of the garden I decided to work on. I said to myself, "oh my gosh! I just want to leave the roots! I'm sure the garden will still grow, this is too much damn work!" The roots were deep and my energy level was coming to its end, then I had this thought pop into my head: Sure, you can leave the roots, but you know they're going to suck up all the nutrients...if you want your garden to thrive then the space needs to be cleared. Can anyone guess what my next thought was? Shut up little voice inside my head! That's not what I want to hear!! LoL then came on the mature/adult thought...

Holy Crap! That totally relates to how the roots of  our past pull our bodies down. 

When we hold onto the past and let it control our life, we are allowing those roots to dig their way in. The past can weigh on us, and just like the roots that steal nutrients from a garden - roots of the past can steal the joy right out of you. 

What else? Roots are a b.i.t.c.h to remove! Like I said, my back has never hurt so much in my life. My arm is sore, and I probably have a sun burn....but it is all worth it! Putting in the work now is going to make it so that my garden produces amazing plants! Anything worth having is worth working for - you can't expect everything in life to be easy. Changing and recreating the person you want to be is a lot of work. You've spent your entire life building up your current belief system, don't think you can just turn all that around in one day. It will take time - but as long as you have a clear focus on where and who you want to be, then most of the work is already done. Now all you gotta do is wake up each day with a smile on your face and be grateful for all the things you have in your life. The roots will begin to pull themselves up and out of your body. It may be uncomfortable and you may want to give up and just leave them there, but just remember how great you'll feel once you are root free and able to live at your maximum potential. Nothing will be sucking your energy, and you will feel lighter and more able to carry on the tasks of each day.

Life is about learning. We are not meant to carry around our past like a dark and terrible thing - we are meant to learn from it and move on. Who cares what you did in the past - it's the past, let is PASS. Only you, and you alone have the power to change who you are. Just because you did something you weren't proud of last year, or even last night - so what! Make the decision today to start living in accordance with what you know to be right. Our past does not define us. We in this present moment define who we are. You can mix it up and change it around as much and as often as you like. Have fun with yourself (keep your minds clean now) and enjoy every moment that you are blessed with.

Okay, now I'm super hungry and going to enjoy myself a yummy in my tummy  vanilla/banana smoothie :)

(Nick if you're reading this I hope you got a laugh outta that yummy in my tummy part)

WiNNeR AnnOuncMenT

Rima!! Go on with your belly dancing self and buy something nice :)

Congrats - be sure to let me know what you buy (and no it doesn't have to be fitness stuff) 

Thank you to everyone who showed interest in this contest. Hopefully I get more chances like this in the future! 

Raw Food/Yoga Bod

Okay, Okay I have debated back and forth whether or not to post these pictures cuz I really don't like to show it all LoL - but here they are!

I'm hoping this can give a little inspiration to the people out there who are wanting to make a shift to better their lives. Physical activity and a healthy diet does and will increase your well being. Once the body is working at its maximum potential the mind will follow, and vice verse. Keep moving, keep loving, and keep smiling :)

I'm still a work in progress - but eating right and exercising daily are quickly getting me to the place I want to be.

Holy Crap!!

$25 Gift Card Giveaway!

Hey people! I've been given this pretty sweet opportunity from CSN Stores to giveaway a $25.00 gift card to one of my readers. 

CSN sells a wide variety of stuff - from dining tables to fitness equipment. 

Check out their full site here: www.csnstores.com

If you saw something you think might be useful to you (which I'm sure you did) go ahead and post a comment to this blog telling me what your favorite work out is. 

Now, you can totally use this gift card for whatever it is you want - but I would be so proud if you used it toward something from the health/fitness section. I know, I know...you're a grown up and totally capable of making your own decisions...so that's why I'm requesting that you tell me your favorite work out in order to be entered. At least that way I'm getting your mind going in the right direction - I hope. LoL

I'll leave this open until Sunday, August 29th.

I am going to put the name of all who enter into a hat (well probably a bowl) and choose at random. If you're selected, I will contact you for your e-mail address so I can pass it along to CSN. Once they have your information they will send you a $25.00 gift certificate which can then be used toward your online purchase from any of their 200+ stores! Free stuff is SO cool.

Thank you for reading, and good luck! 

*So remember - just comment to this post telling me your favorite work out and I will enter your name into the drawing.*

What's my favorite? Gotta give it up for the core workouts - I love me some tight abs :)

2am and I'm sitting here writin this blog (If I get it all down on paper it's no longer inside of me, threatening the life it belongs to)

Alright, so it's not 2am...it's only 9:30pm but I didn't wanna ruin the song!

So, I know I already wrote a blog today...but I just feel this sudden urge to get some things out. I will probably hold off posting it tonight anyways. Don't wanna overwhelm people LoL 

Earlier today I listened to this great podcast done by Dhrumil Purohit and Philip McCluskey on purpose, passion, career and money. It's pretty much right in line with where my focus and confusion has been over the past couple of months. How can I take my passion and turn it into a career? 

Well, for one...I have multiple passions, and two...I have no idea how to start a business. To tell ya the truth I don't know if I'm even capable of running things on my own. On here I can hide behind my computer...but get me out in a crowd and who0o boy the fear sets in pretty quick. 

Okay, I'm getting side tracked. What I wanted to talk about is how I came to the realization that although there are tons of stuff I am passionate about, there is only one true thing worth spending the majority of my energy on. Yeah, yeah I love nutrition and healthy food...but it always comes to a dead end for me. I always feel like I'm pushing myself to learn things about nutrition and feel bogged down by food the majority of the time. Food is kickin my ass...it consumes all my thoughts and dictates my day. I find myself eating when I'm not hungry, and in all honesty I believe I'm putting WaY too much emphasis on the importance of food in my life. It's just food! 

So, I had to ask myself...is food really where I want to center my attention? The answer is...No, I don't! So, what is it I want to do then? 

Drum roll....

Fitness! I absolutely LoVe to work out. I love everything about working out. I love the sweating, the burning, the energy it gives, and most of all I love the way working out re-shapes the body. I could work out all day long. 

Why didn't I realize this before? Sure, eating a healthy diet is mucho importante, but nothing is more important than following your passion. 

Clearly I've been focused on the wrong things. If I am going to be of any use to myself or the people around me, it's time to start focusing on my strengths. Food will find it's proper place in my life. I'm sure I'll still talk about how important eating raw food is, but I will no longer feel like I'm trapped by food. If I sat around and ate all day that would make me feel like poo...but if I was up and working out all day that would make me feel wonderful! Food is not a primary in my life. It never was growing up, and the only reason it's become such an issue now is because I let my thoughts be overrun by nothing but food. I have put food up on a pedistool and forgot about all the other things that are so important to health. 

I think I should have taken the hint when the school I was taking nutrition classes through filed for bankruptcy. Obviously the universe is tryin to tell me to switch careers lol. 

Gosh, I feel so happy right now. I sorta feel like I can start taking steps in a more positive direction...like I'm totally coming from a place of willingness now, rather than just doing something because I thought it was the right thing to do. My body has always been so important to me. There is nothing more beautiful than a person who is healthy and in shape. Cianara food brain and hello fitness noggin. Heavy on the cheese? Yeah, I think so too...can you imagine livin with a brain that pops out silly things like that? Psshh

Be looking for fitness and beauty tips...and possibly some workout demos. 

 Like I said, the gears are a turnin.

It's all about havin fun, and what's more fun than looking good and feeling great? Get up and get movin toward the direction of your dreams people.

Here's a link to that podcast - just in case you're curious 

http://bit.ly/dxpnvf

Got Goals? You betcha!

Truth is, I have many goals. Goals which I will most likely be filtering through this blog, but for today I will keep it simple and explain my current mission...

GreeN SmoothiE WeeK :) 

* Here are the conditions - I drink at least one green smoothie a day for 7 days. We have some fruit at the house that may spoil if not eaten, and as I've already explained - jackfruit just doesn't taste right in a smoothie. So0o as long as I have one green smoothie a day, and eat nothing else but fruit, I will feel happily successful.

Lets use this goal as an example and fill in the blanks from yesterdays outline for goal setting :

1. Develop an intense desire to achieve your goal!

    * LoL not too sure how desire-full you can get about green smoothies, but I'm chalked full with desire! 

2. Develop a strong belief in your goal!

    * I believe that my tummy needs a break and eating only fruit and green smoothies will definitely give it a rest. Fruit is super easy to digest (usually passing through our systems in about 30min.) and green smoothies are blended - so the fibers are already broken down fairly well which makes digestion and absorption a lot easier. 

3. Write your goals down!

    * Ha! I'm so on top of my game

4. Determine how you will benefit from achieving your goal!

    * I will have more energy, my stomach will have a chance to repair itself a little from all the past damage I've caused. My digestion will get back on track, and I'll get to enjoy yummy fruity goodness - all in my favorite color - GreeN! 

5. Analyze your starting point!

    * Right now! From this moment I am committing to eating/drinking nothing but fruit and green smoothies.

6. Set deadlines to achieve your goals!

    * No real deadline - Going to commit for a week - Monday 23rd to Monday 30th

7. Identify the obstacles that stand in your way!

    * I am probably my biggest obstacle. I'm already thinking about all the things other than fruit or green smoothies that I want to eat. I have a journal and I'm going to write down every desire that comes into my head that is not in line with my current goal...sort of a way to release without having to actually act on the cravings. 

8. Identify the additional knowledge or information you will require!

    * Just some recipes and I'll be set. 

9. Identify the people whose cooperation you will require. 

    * Me, myself and I 

10. Make a plan to achieve your goals!

     * That's what I'm doing...right? 

11. Visualize the achievement of your goals! 

      * I see green in my future...

12. Persist until your goals are achieved!

      * Okie Dokie!  

Bottoms Up!

Got Goals?

The mark of a winner is intense goal orientation. 

The first step before you begin a journey is an undiminished decision as to where you are headed. 

Dedicate yourself wholeheartedly to achieving your goal.

As long as you're going to dream, dream great dreams. 

Work on yourself like a work of art through goal setting. 

Proper planning prevents poor performance.

      I borrowed these lines from David Wolfe's book, "The Sunfood Diet." This book covers it all - healthy nutrition and healthy thinking patterns. In my opinion healthy thinking patterns are FAR more beneficial than a healthy diet. The mind can do a lot - it can help us or trip us. If we are going to succeed in anything then we have to get our minds on track and in the right position to achieve our goals. Everyone has goals. There is always a burning passion within a persons heart. Those who follow that passion and live life to their fullest potential are the ones who enjoy life. Those are the people who are constantly smiling...and are always focused on what it is they want to do in life. 

Every single decision we make as humans does its part in shaping the world. What you do makes a difference. Even if you think you don't or can't add value to the world - you do. Start to live like every moment counts. Our future is not shaped by our past - rather it is our present actions that shape our future. Talk is cheap - actions always speak louder than words. The way you act on things determines your success. Act according to your dreams - not because you read to do so, but because you want to do so. 

Take a look at these twelve steps to goal achievement that were outlined by Brian Tracy:

1. Develop an intense desire to achieve your goals.

    *  If you don't have an intense desire to do something then maybe it isn't the right thing for you. It's all about passion. You'll know when you find something worth while...it will make you feel so good that nothing else but that one thing will make sense. Just thinking about it will fill you up with happiness. 

2. Develop a strong belief in your goals. 

     * Know without a doubt that this goal is going to add value to your life. It is worth while and good will come of it. 

3. Write your goals down 

     * Make a list and check them off as you achieve them. 

4. Determine how you will benefit from achieving your goals. 

     * Not only how you will benefit, but also how others may benefit. 

5. Analyze your starting point. 

     * What is it that needs to be done in order to give you a great jump start? Maybe make a poster or vision board outlining all the things you want to see happen in your future. This is fun - totally brings ya back to the classroom days. Make it colorful and play around with pictures and maybe even some markers...oOohhh 

6. Set deadlines to achieving your goals. 

     * I'm not too sure how I feel about this whole deadline thing. Yes, it's good to have an outline of our goals, but to put a certain date as to when/where it should be achieved seems a little silly to me. Just set your goal and let things happen as they will. There really won't be an end if you just go with the flow of life...it will just continue to unfold. One goal will lead to the next and things will fit together perfectly. 

7. Identify the obstacles that stand in your way. 

    * We will all face challenges along the path to success. Find out what it is that may be holding you back and do your best to pull away from those things. Fill your time up so much with the things you want that there is no longer any room in your life for the obstacles. 

8. Identify the additional knowledge or information you will require. 

    * I love this quote I heard - "All this struggling to learn when all we have to do is remember. All the wisdom we require is already within us." Can't remember who it was by, but it speaks such truth. You will be lead to whatever it is you need to succeed. If you are drawn to read a certain book or article, listen to yourself and follow that inner feeling. The information will come to you when you are ready to take it in. 

9. Identify the people whose cooperation you will require. 

    * People are great - two is better than one - the more the better. Connect with people who can support you in achieving your goal. Help comes in the most mysterious forms - be open to accepting that help...but remember that the biggest help you can get is the help that comes from believing in yourself. Don't ever fully rely on other people to make you happy or make your dreams come true. People are just helpers. You are the true creator of your life. People come and go, but you will be with you forever. Remember to depend on yourself more than anyone else, cuz ultimately only you can bring yourself true happiness.

10. Make a plan to achieve your goals. 

     * Determine the necessary steps that will need to be taken in order for you to obtain the things you want, and stick to it! 

11. Visualize the achievement of your goal. 

     * Envision what your future will look and feel like once your goal has been achieved. Hold onto that feeling throughout your day. Know that you are on the right track and making positive shifts in your life. Be sure of yourself and your goal, and be happy about it! 

12. Persist until your goals are achieved. 

      * As much as we'd all like things to be a breeze and come easy, many of us know that this isn't actually the case. Anything worth having is worth working for. It's going to take true effort and compassion to achieve your goal. Road blocks are going to present themselves, but just keep working hard and soon or later those road blocks are going to clear. 

Think about this - What happens when there is construction on the road? Traffic, right? Things move slow, people get frustrated, and it seems to take FoReVeR to make it to your destination. Well, think of working toward a goal as reconstructing your life. Things might move slow, you could get frustrated, and it may take what seems like forever to reach your goal....but sooner or later the road will be finished - complete with new pavement. Traffic will start to flow and after a while you won't even remember that old beat up road that was once there. Be patient with the work that needs to be done. 

Tomorrows blog? An outline of my own personal goal and how I am going to go about achieving it. Commitment! Uh oh...can she do it folks?

RandomNess

Will I EvEr stop changing my mind? LoL seems like almost daily I am coming up with a new plan. I set things in motion and they never work out the way I think they will. 

If you're following my blogs then you know I had set my intentions on starting a week of nothing but green smoothies. Well, today was to be the first day of this little experiment...but given certain circumstances I am pushin my start date to Monday. Ain't no shame in that right? I'm not going to come at cha with a bunch of excuses (even though that's my specialty), just telling it like it is...same experiment, different day. No biggie. 

There are a lot of neat ideas I'm playing with right now. I am so excited to see how they unfold. My main goal is to learn as much as I can about nutrition, health and fitness. I will most likely be posting the information I'm taking in, so you'll be able to go on this journey with me. What I want to do is turn this blog into an information power house that is loaded with all kinds of health tricks and ideas. I just bought two books on raw food nutrition and thankfully the place I'm staying at has a gigantic library full of health books. 

Time to get the ball a rollin...

Smoothie Dilemma

So the other day I wake up all hyped about getting my green smoothie week started when I ran into a problem...NO GREENS! LoL this poses as a huge rut in the road because the main ingredient in a green smoothie IS the green. No big deal though, yesterday we made a trip to the farmers market and I loaded up! Tons of cilantro, lots of leafy edibles like kale, chard, and romaine. Yep, I'm all set.

Thing is, is that I indulged a little too much in some guilty pleasures yesterday and I'm pretty sure my tummy is still working on getting all the food I ate digested LoL so I probably won't be eating today. Looks like I'll have to start my green goodness tomorrow.

So0o stay tuned for updates on how I'm feeling and be lookin for some of the yummy recipes I discovered!

That's all for now :)

You're going to drink something GrEeN? Eeewww

Good morning! Well...good afternoon to all my mainland friends :) 

I'm feeling pumped up and ready to get my day started. I posted a short little yoga routine I've been doin that is great to get the blood flowin in the morning. Loosens ya right up. Give it a try...It's only like 10 min. or something and is SO worth it.

So let me explain today's title about drinkin something green...

I have decided to do a green smoothie experiment, and drink nothing but green smoothies for a full 7 days. Green smoothies are a great way to pump the body full of minerals and it's a little easier on the digestive tract since everything is blended and already "chewed." 

Since I've been in Hawaii my tummy has been on this up and down roller coaster. I am a bit of an emotional eater and tend to eat in order to avoid thinking too much or becoming bored. Eating is a total time killer and I've definitely taken advantage of that fact. Like I've said - luckily my metabolism is quick and I work out a bunch so my body tends to keep and maintain a pretty healthy weight...but just because I'm slender doesn't mean I'm healthy. I can tell when my tummy isn't working at its ultimate best. So that is why I've decided to go the green smoothie route. 

Green smoothies can pretty much contain any and everything you want them to. I like to use lots of fruit and then add either spinach or lettuce. Spinach is a great veggie to start out with because it is light in flavor and mixes well with the taste of fruit. Cilantro is another great green that can be used. After I'm finished with this post I am going to search the web for some yummy recipes so I'll be posting whatever it is I choose to try out - just in case you wanna be brave and give it a whirl :)

Cheers to your health!

Great Morning Yoga Sequence

Good Morning Beautiful (How was your night?)

The birds are a chirpin', the rain is out...ahhh it's lovely. Actually the rain is pretty lovely LoL it's making the air smell super fresh. It's a nice little break from the sauna feeling my room had yesterday. 

So, how was my night? Oddly I probably slept in every humanly position possible. My head was even where my feet were suppose to be at one point. I just couldn't get comfortable! I was tossin' and turning, movin the pillows around, trying to sleep on my tummy, back...yeah I tried it all. Guess you can say it was pretty restless. BuT I feel very energized this morning and the gears are a turnin strong. So strong that the first thing I felt inspired to do was write this blog and release some of the things I've been stewin on. 

Where am I right now? Hawaii! The most beautiful, amazing place in the world and yet I still some how find a way to focus on the negative or troublesome things in my life. Hello? Talk about ruining a good thing...

What is all this drama and why have I allowed it to hang out with me for so long? It's like this back and forth battle between healthy and sick. Well ya know what? No more! Life is WaY too precious to waist any time honing in on the lame parts. Starting now I am living my life as an adventure. I am going to experiment with different things, explore, learn and just get down and dirty with the livin. No more planning out my next move. I'm just going to go with the ideas that are flowing through my head and take each one as a chance to grow. 

I'm going to get to know myself. Strip down to the bare minimum and be openly honest with who I am. I am treating myself as a stranger and taking the chance to become friends with the person that truly lies within. I want to learn new things about me everyday. I want to discover my limits and push them. I want to become my own best friend and support myself in whatever it is I choose to do. Wow talking like that just made me realize that I may be leading myself into some type of bi-polar, mulit-personality situation here. LoL. Nah no multi-personality....just becoming my own support system. If you can't count on yourself than who can ya count on? 

I'm going to take this life I've created and filter out all the things that aren't me. Stuff gets stuck to us sometimes. Whether it be through TV, the radio, or from other people...stuff just gets stuck. Ever hung out with someone for like a week then noticed yourself saying certain things that they say? 

We are like sponges...we take in and soak everything up, and once in a while we gotta be rung out and washed or we'll burst and start smelling like the bottom of the sink ;)

So this is my ringing out. I'm gunna twist myself on every level and squeeze out whatever it is that doesn't resonate with my heart. There just isn't room for it in my life anymore. Each day is going to be an experiment, and I'm going to experience this life for all that it can be. 

Watch out world - here I come!

HoT, HoT, HoT!!! It's like a sauna in here...

So here I am sitting in my room, hot as heck and wondering what to do with myself. Again I am thinking about all the things I want to accomplish in my life, and I haven't a clue where to begin. There are just SO many things to choose from! 

Thankfully I had amazing parents growing up who were always whispering in my ear that I could do anything I set my mind to. Well...they had no idea that my mind would end up changing daily!! I can blame everything on my parents, can't I? LoL. But, no seriously...there must be this fear of commitment that I have packed away inside my head somewhere, cuz I swear the second I agree to something is the second I start thinking about all the other things I want to do. I drive myself nuts! I know I'm a good multi-tasker, but this is starting to get ridiculous. How in the world am I suppose to make sense out of all this stuff in my head?

I know that I definitely want to follow a healthy path geared toward nutrition and fitness, but there are SO many people out there doing the same thing, and I want to be original. This is where my dilemma comes in...

How can I take all these things I've learned from others and make it into something of my own? Can I even be an example of health that others would want to follow? I've tried so many different things when It comes to health...healthy eating, different types of fitness, and lets not mention all the crazy cleanses I've experimented with. Oh yeah people...I was obsessed! In all honesty I did like trying out different things though. It was fun to see what worked and what didn't work with my body. I totally believe we are all different, but I also believe we are alike in many ways. When it comes down to it we all just wanna be happy. We wanna find that thing that puts a smile on our face.

So0o0o what's that thing that puts a smile on my face? Haha this may sound super lame, but this is the honest to God truth....what makes me happy is seeing other people happy. When people are happy and smiling it's almost impossible to take your eyes off them. They are contagious. They glow. People are drawn to happiness, and I think the way to be truly happy is to become your authentic self. I absolutely love seeing people who stand out from the crowd. People who go against the mold and don't let society make them into something they're not. It's super attractive to me. People who tat themselves up from head to toe or style their hair all crazy. People with an unusual sense of style that could not have come from any magazine spread. The people that are just themselves and are happy and comfortable about it. They are a walking billboard of everything they love and are constantly expressing themselves openly for the world to see. (My Mom may not like that tattoo reference...haha don't worry Mom I'm not going to come home covered in ink.)

Maybe the reason why I am so attracted to theses people is because I lack the courage to step out of the box. I wouldn't dare do something I thought others may judge me on. I am scared shitless to stand out. I would rather hide in a corner or blend in with the wall than be the center of attention. I have never liked to get noticed, yet there have been dreams and talents placed within me that scream everything but mediocrity. I'll tell ya the truth - I have no idea why I have been blessed with certain things. I truly don't believe that I deserve any of it, and I think that's why I'm scared. When you feel undeserving it can ruin everything. Great things can pass you by, and instead of thriving you're left feeling empty. Each and every one of us has talent. There is no one in this world who wasn't put here for a reason. All I can do is do the best I can. If I have a dream in my heart it's there for a reason.

It's time to throw aside all the doubts and fear and start appreciating everything for what it is. Appreciate the fact that I'm human and make mistakes. Appreciate the fact that I can learn from those mistakes, and turn each and every disappointment into a triumph. Good things are waiting for all of us. It's our given right to be happy, and we deserve it. Don't let the world cloud your vision. Use your common sense and ask yourself what it is you truly want to do in life. There are no wrong answers, and the answer could even change from day to day...but just keep asking and following what it is your heart is saying - not what the media is saying, and not even what your friends and family are saying. Go with what you are saying. Let things fall into place. Be present and love everything about yourself. Never feel disappointed. Everything happens for a reason, whether or not you understand that reason doesn't matter. It's how you react to a situation that determines if you're going to learn something from it or not. 

Sing or dance or do whatever leaves you feelin tingly inside. The road won't always be smooth, and temptations will most certainly arise...but just remember to lead with your heart and strength will never run out.

I got my mind on my money (and I ain't goin nowhere)

Happy Friday the 13th! Today's inspiration? Good ol' T.I. and Rhianna - Live Your Life.

I was listening to Pandora and this T.I. song came on. I was all into it - don't worry I wasn't dancing...just a little head bobbin LoL and then toward the end I heard the line, "I got my mind on my money, and I ain't goin nowhere." 

Light bulb! 

Money. Money. Money. Doesn't it seem to be the topic of almost every conversation? People are so dependent on this greenness that it consumes them. Instead of waking up everyday being happy the majority wake up dreading their trip into work. And why do we work? For money right? And why do we want that money? So we can be happy and enjoy life, right? So the question I had to ask myself was this...do we really need money to be happy? I certainly like having money. I love buying things, and I enjoy being able to do things that cost money...but when the want of money overrides the need for money that's when problems arise. 

When our mind is constantly fixated on money it's hard to think about other things, and it is definitely tougher to enjoy life. I have noticed that people who are always worrying about money tend to think that everyone owes them something. They are always thinking of ways to get money out of others and doing favors for people becomes almost non-existent. If you feel that money is more important than personal relationships then why on earth would the idea of just doing something out of the kindness of your heart even cross your mind? What ever happened to the days of neighbors helping neighbors? Or even strangers helping strangers? It seems like we have all replaced our hearts with an ATM and are always expecting things in return for good deeds. The second you expect something in return for a favor - that's when the favor loses its value. 

I am having the toughest time with this because it makes sense that we should be rewarded for things that we do. Money is a great way to show appreciation. This totally leaves me feeling stuck. What if I want to open a business someday? Am I suppose to just offer my services for free? I gotta live too. I can't just go around being this big ol' charity doer. As humans we for sure have needs, and in that same sentence we have wants. Wants need to be satisfied too. Can you see me trying to work through this as I go along? LoL. Okay common sense, come in and do your part...

Duh! There is nothing wrong with money. Money is not evil. It is the obsession with money that is evil. Money can do a lot of damage to a person if they're not careful. It's all about balance. It is so easy to become selfish and self-centered when money is involved. The need for more, more, more can consume the mind. Material possessions are definitely not the most important thing in the world, yet many feel that they just can't live without certain stuff. If you feel like you can't live without material things, maybe it's time to take a step back and ask yourself how important that material possession actually is. 

One day I want to be able to say that I am perfectly happy buck naked with nothing! LoL okay maybe not...gotta be careful what I wish for here...but do you get what I'm saying? We need to be happy no matter what. If our car breaks, it's not the end of the world. Stuff just gets in the way of life. It may enhance your happiness for a while, but the second that new phone or computer comes out you will lose interest in what you have and always want the next best thing. There is no end. Unless you end it, and decide to be happy no matter what. The nastiest words in the world are so often used in relation to money...greed, jealousy, stealing, lying, cheating. Do your best to remember what is actually important in life. Cuz if ya got your mind on only your money - you ain't going no where! Cha-ching! :)

I'll Be Your Parachute (Can't remember the rest of the lyrics LoL)

Hi! I am finally back online and SO ready to start posting again. I've been in Hawaii for about a month now - and it's been truly the most amazing experience of my life. I'm glad that I stepped out of my comfort zone and took a chance. I miss my family so much, but love how supportive and understanding everyone has been about my move. Thank you :)

Anywho0o back to the real deal...this parachute song that I heard on the radio the other day has been stuck in my head for like a week. It's a super good song, but I think it's time to get it out of my head and onto my blog.

In all honesty I can't really understand what the chick is saying in the song other than I'll be your parachute lol but that must be all I needed to hear from it cuz it send my mind through a whirlwind of thoughts. A parachute is what? Well...lets see what Webster has to say...parachute : a folding, umbrellalike, fabric device with cords supporting a harness or straps for allowing a person, object, package, etc., to float down safely through the air from a great height. So basically it's a safety net that makes landing on your feet easier and ultimately saves you from being smashed into the ground like a pumpkin. Any arguments on that? Good, lets move on then :)

SoOo considering that I gain inspiration from music and have become comfortable in saying that God somehow speaks to me through this music, it's pretty safe to assume that the lesson here is that we all have a safety net and no matter how high we fall from we will always land safely on the ground with our legs underneath us. Now, I know what you're thinking, "but parachutes don't aLwAyS work." Well wanna know the good thing about the parachute I'm referring to? It ALWAYS works. God doesn't make mistakes and will never let us fall. The only way we can be defeated in anything is if we ourselves allow that defeat. If in everything we do we remember that we have the most powerful safety device backing us up there really is no end to what we can achieve. 

I have learned that many people are always looking for outside support to accomplish things. This is a losing battle. Yes, support from others is wonderful...but unless you can believe in yourself and turn to God for support you will always be falling short. No one can measure up to the love and encouragement that comes from God. No matter what kind of craziness is going on in our outside lives it's so important to keep our inside lives (our thoughts) on a happy/balanced track. This is definitely one of those easier said than done things - since I am still very much working on this myself, but it is possible and it can be done. Look inside yourself for the answers to any question you have - that's where you'll find the right answer. It can't come from anyone else. We are all different, and if you are constantly putting your life into the hands of others you will never be happy. No one but yourself knows what you truly want. Quit blaming other people for your misery...it's not their fault - it's yours. If you are unhappy it's because you are choosing to make yourself that way. Turn things around and start to depend on that parachute we each have. Be strong knowing that your landing will be smooth as long as you pull the cord and trust that the parachute will open and take care of you. Here comes a bible verse LoL : 

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,

and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make straight your paths.
Proverbs 3:5-6

No matter what it is you choose to believe in - just believe. Believing in something can make all the difference.

Just a Little Inspiration

I love this picture and thought it matched the quote perfectly!

 

"Freedom is the oxygen of the soul." - Moshe Dayan

I'm Gunna Let Him Fly, Fly OoOh (I'm...gunna let him fly)

So, it's 8:30am...I'm fresh out of the shower and feeling majorly inspired! I don't know what it is (well...ya I do) but I am bursting at the seams with energy! I almost feel crazy. I want to run around and jump and hug everyone in sight. It's creepin' me out a bit lol. 

So, here's what I want to get out today....

It is no mystery that God speaks to me through music. While I was taking a shower I couldn't get the Let Him Fly song by the Dixie Chicks out of my head. In all honesty this song has been haunting me for like the past month (lol I actually like the song, but for the context of this blog we will use the word haunting).

There is a particular person in my life that causes me a lot of...what's the word...discomfort. I love this person, but at the same time I find it almost impossible to love them. No matter how hard I try to accept them, they seem to do everything in their power to bug the hell out of me. I don't understand hardly anything they do, and wonder if they actually like making people feel bad. Talking to them is like talking to a brick wall. Nothing I say or do is right in their eyes, and lie after lie seems to spill from their mouth. It's extremely frustrating! Especially since they don't see, or at least don't seem to see, what it is they are doing. 

Now, I'm a firm believer in karma and know that whatever it is this person is doing has nothing to do with me. It's not my job to change this person, and it certainly is not my job to punish them. Yes, they bring out the worst in me...but when it comes down to it, they can't actually make me act a certain way. It is my own choice to react the way I do.

So, here's the major question: How do I love someone I can't stand? How am I suppose to accept the things they are doing when I feel so strongly against them? 

Praise the Lord, because I have been given (yet again) a simple answer... 

Just do it. Accept them for everything they are, and let them live their life the way they want to. Let go of the ties I feel I have to this person. There is no rule book that says just because someone is in your family you have to hang out with them. Love them from a distance. Do all you can to be happy in their presence, and don't allow them to bring their negativity down on you.

I know that every weakness I am faced with is actually a blessing in disguise. If I can truly accept that weakness then I will be made stronger for it. It's like when you work out...you feel that burn, that pain in your muscle...all that pain represents is the building of strength. 

It goes the same for any problem we are faced with. God wouldn't put you through something you couldn't handle. So, and I know this seems silly, but be thankful for the problem! God is showing the problem to you so that you can move up and away from it. Where you are weak, He is strong. Whether you see it or not, everything in your life is a blessing. Nothing is there by accident. The world is this great design, and all we have to do is live the best we can. 

As for me, yes I am having this "problem," but in the midst of it I honestly feel joyful. Right now I really don't think anything could bring me down. What I am going to do is just go out into my day and do all the things that make me happy. Yoga, here I come! 

Here is the main part of that song that really spoke to me:

Ain't no talking to this man

Ain't no pretty other side

Ain't no way to understand, the stupid words of pride.

Cuz it would take an acrobat, and I already tried all that

I'm gunna let him fly....

I am no longer going to try and figure this person out. The reasons behind their actions are unimportant. What they do is on them. I love them, and in loving them I am going to let them go...because the relationship we have as of now is not a healthy one. I am leaving it in the hands of God, and I pray that I am given the strength to accept this situation. (And, in praying that, I already know that I have the strength...ah...relief!)

Okay nOw - Yoga here I come! :)