Come Shine Your Light, Come Shine Your Light, Come Shine Your Light On Meee

Alright. Once again I am being inspired by simple to do, around the house stuff. Don't ask me where or how I come up with these things...they're beyond me...

So0o let me paint the picture for you - 

I'm standing at the stove, heating up some water for a cup of tea. It's pretty late, and only the dining room light is on, making it a little hard to see...so I decide to flip on that little overhead stove light, and BaM...I notice a bunch of gunk all over my Mom's stove top. First thought? Eeww, what the heck! I couldn't even tell it was there until I turned the light on. Then what? Well, that little voice inside my head that likes to turn ever situation into some deep eye opening moment said, "That's what happens when you let the light in. All the junk is exposed. Not to make you feel bad, but to give you an opportunity to 'clean-up'." 

This thought took me back to the memory of when I first quit drinking. Boy was that a nightmare. I thought letting go of the bottle would have been a life enhancer for sure, but that year was probably one of the toughest of my life. I've never had so much anxiety! I knew quitting was what I wanted to do, but I never realized how much I had been using alcohol to suppress my feeling. Alcohol was my dark blanket. It covered up all my problems. Once I removed the blanket and let the "light" in, my problems were given a chance to be cleaned out. The light exposes us for who we are, and that's why it can be so scary at times to step into the light. People now a days spend all their energy working to cover up their problems, not expose them...but exposing them is the healthiest thing! Once you expose the problem you give the problem a way out. Instead of harboring your problem - let it go! 

Shine the light on that mess, grab a sponge from the sink and wipe it up! And keep that light on so the next time you make a mess you can easily clean it up :)

Yes, that first year without alcohol was tough...but now I can honestly say that my life is a million times better without it. Alcohol was my escape from the world, and with it gone I have so much more clarity and meaning in my life. 

What's your "alcohol?" What's your escape? It comes in many different forms. I'm sure I still have a couple "alcohols" in my life. We all have at least one. Find what yours is. Or better yet, let the light in and allow it to find your suppressant for you.

Life doesn't always make sense...okay...almost never does it make sense in my world LoL but there is a great design. I don't think anyone will ever truly figure out this design, and I'm not sure it's even healthy to try and figure it out...but there is something we can do...and that's to just accept that there is something bigger then us, and live each day knowing that the world is working in our favor. We are meant to be happy and balanced. If we'll just step aside and allow ourselves joy, then it will come. 

There really isn't much we have to do - we just have to believe.

Step by Step, Day by Day

Haha wish I could remember the rest of the words to that song...oh well...

Okay, so I'm back in Oregon and am feeling inspired to write a blog. Not sure if everything in Hawaii is just so perfect ;) that I don't feel the need to write, or what, but for whatever reason...here I am typing up a storm again. 

Where has this inspiration come from? Well...my Mom was showing me a bunch of these recovery pamphlet things she picked up from Church and I decided to read into them a bit further. If any of you are friends with my Mom on FB you know that she's in total inspiration/healing mode, which I applaud her on - way to go Mom! Keep doing what makes you happy, and don't worry about what I'm about to say about your pamphlets LoL :)

Anyways...I was looking through these pamphlets and instead of finding peace in them I started to get a little discouraged. Now, I know that these 12 step programs have helped numerous people recover from life-long destructive habits...but my brain must work a little differently, because in reading I couldn't help but think, "These are all just excuses." There were a handful of disorders, along with signs and symptoms discussed in the pamphlets, such as : Adult Children of Family Dysfunction - Judge self without mercy, hard to have fun, difficulty with relationships, constantly seek approval, look for immediate gratification, and they fear rejection or abandonment. Codependency - Assume responsibility for others feelings, difficulty expressing feelings, afraid of being hurt or rejected, afraid to express differing opinions, and they are embarrassed to receive recognition. The list goes on and on. Now, these are all very valid points, and if a person is feeling this way on a regular basis and it's controlling their lives then yes, there's a problem...but...haven't we all felt this way at one point or another? Is it really something that should be given a name or diagnosis? All it is, is the person holding onto whatever has happened to them in their past. It's nothing more then their own doing. We've all had unfortunate things happen to us, and we all have our problems that could use some fixing...but to me it seems like giving your problem a name and a reason is just a way of taking the responsibility off of yourself. 

Many of the root causes of the disorders were pointed back to childhood, which yes, is most likely where these problems arose from...but it wasn't your families fault, or your friends fault, or the guy in line who was mean to you's fault....it's your fault. Yep, I said it...your fault. No one can make you feel or do anything. You have the choice to make your own decisions. Yes, situations are unfortunate sometimes, but the only people that continue to have problems into their adult hood are the ones who refuse to let go of their past. The ones who constantly remind themselves of what happened to them when they were younger. You had a bunch of horrible stuff happen to you? Good, become stronger from it. What good is it doing you today to keep living in the crap you grew up in? 

I am all for acknowledging your problems so that they can be dealt with...but to give your problem a name, and then to define yourself by that problem...um...not so good. How are you ever going to get away from your problems if you label yourself by them? I feel comfortable talking about this because I know from personal experience what labeling yourself with a problem does to you, it makes you sicker and brings on more problems! When I was sick I spent years going to doctors trying to figure out what the heck was wrong with me, and the second I actually received a diagnosis was the second I got sicker. The thought of, "Oh, okay...so I really am sick," took hold of me and I used my "illness" as an excuse. I saw myself as a sick person, and a sick person was what I became. My stomach issues multiplied and everyday became a constant battle. I was blocking myself from getting better because I had labeled myself as sick. If you label yourself with something negative, you trap yourself. I know that not everyone's brain works like mine and that these programs do indeed work miracles, but I'm just saying...it doesn't make much sense to me, and it seems a lot easier to just say..."Yeah, I've got problems...but that ain't gunna stop me from being happy and continuing to live my life." Most of the time the problems will just lift on their own anyways. It's called realizing, accepting, and then living. Realize the problem, accept it, and then just live a happy life. Once you have realized and accepted something it makes living a lot easier. Ever been around a really annoying person or someone you just don't like? The moment you accept that person for who they are (annoying habits and all) is the moment you can tolerate them. Same goes with your problems. The moment you accept them is the moment you can move on with your life. Accepting doesn't mean labeling, it doesn't mean going around telling everyone...oh yeah, I act this way because I've got a co-dependency problem. No, it means realizing that you're on Earth, you're human, and that although there are a million things you probably could work on you are perfect right now. You are exactly where you are meant to be, and your life is in perfect alignment with your thoughts. Change your thoughts, change your life. Change your  environment, change your life. If you want to see a change you must make a change. If you want to get well, you must think well. 

Troubles do indeed exist in this world, I have accepted that...but I don't hold onto the troubles like I used to. It's kinda like taking life with a grain of salt...nothing is really THAT important. We all just wanna be happy...so why not focus on happy things? Address the issues, but do it in a healthy way. Turn inward and realize that only you can make you better. Those of you who believe only God can make you better, I agree 100%. When you turn inside you are turning to God. Without your permission God can't enter, so it really does all boil down to you. You know you better then anyone else, so don't rely on other people to make you happy or to "fix" you. That can only be done by your own work. There are unseen forces moseying about that will help you. Stop acting so desperate. Desperation is unattractive and in all honesty it's annoying. Believe in yourself and give yourself permission to be confident. You are just as able as the next person to do whatever it is you want to do. Quit limiting yourself. We are unlimited. We are boundless. We are infinite. We are all of the above and more...we just have to allow ourselves to be it.

Do yourself and the world a favor and lighten up :)