So here I am sitting in my room, hot as heck and wondering what to do with myself. Again I am thinking about all the things I want to accomplish in my life, and I haven't a clue where to begin. There are just SO many things to choose from!
Thankfully I had amazing parents growing up who were always whispering in my ear that I could do anything I set my mind to. Well...they had no idea that my mind would end up changing daily!! I can blame everything on my parents, can't I? LoL. But, no seriously...there must be this fear of commitment that I have packed away inside my head somewhere, cuz I swear the second I agree to something is the second I start thinking about all the other things I want to do. I drive myself nuts! I know I'm a good multi-tasker, but this is starting to get ridiculous. How in the world am I suppose to make sense out of all this stuff in my head?
I know that I definitely want to follow a healthy path geared toward nutrition and fitness, but there are SO many people out there doing the same thing, and I want to be original. This is where my dilemma comes in...
How can I take all these things I've learned from others and make it into something of my own? Can I even be an example of health that others would want to follow? I've tried so many different things when It comes to health...healthy eating, different types of fitness, and lets not mention all the crazy cleanses I've experimented with. Oh yeah people...I was obsessed! In all honesty I did like trying out different things though. It was fun to see what worked and what didn't work with my body. I totally believe we are all different, but I also believe we are alike in many ways. When it comes down to it we all just wanna be happy. We wanna find that thing that puts a smile on our face.
So0o0o what's that thing that puts a smile on my face? Haha this may sound super lame, but this is the honest to God truth....what makes me happy is seeing other people happy. When people are happy and smiling it's almost impossible to take your eyes off them. They are contagious. They glow. People are drawn to happiness, and I think the way to be truly happy is to become your authentic self. I absolutely love seeing people who stand out from the crowd. People who go against the mold and don't let society make them into something they're not. It's super attractive to me. People who tat themselves up from head to toe or style their hair all crazy. People with an unusual sense of style that could not have come from any magazine spread. The people that are just themselves and are happy and comfortable about it. They are a walking billboard of everything they love and are constantly expressing themselves openly for the world to see. (My Mom may not like that tattoo reference...haha don't worry Mom I'm not going to come home covered in ink.)
Maybe the reason why I am so attracted to theses people is because I lack the courage to step out of the box. I wouldn't dare do something I thought others may judge me on. I am scared shitless to stand out. I would rather hide in a corner or blend in with the wall than be the center of attention. I have never liked to get noticed, yet there have been dreams and talents placed within me that scream everything but mediocrity. I'll tell ya the truth - I have no idea why I have been blessed with certain things. I truly don't believe that I deserve any of it, and I think that's why I'm scared. When you feel undeserving it can ruin everything. Great things can pass you by, and instead of thriving you're left feeling empty. Each and every one of us has talent. There is no one in this world who wasn't put here for a reason. All I can do is do the best I can. If I have a dream in my heart it's there for a reason.
It's time to throw aside all the doubts and fear and start appreciating everything for what it is. Appreciate the fact that I'm human and make mistakes. Appreciate the fact that I can learn from those mistakes, and turn each and every disappointment into a triumph. Good things are waiting for all of us. It's our given right to be happy, and we deserve it. Don't let the world cloud your vision. Use your common sense and ask yourself what it is you truly want to do in life. There are no wrong answers, and the answer could even change from day to day...but just keep asking and following what it is your heart is saying - not what the media is saying, and not even what your friends and family are saying. Go with what you are saying. Let things fall into place. Be present and love everything about yourself. Never feel disappointed. Everything happens for a reason, whether or not you understand that reason doesn't matter. It's how you react to a situation that determines if you're going to learn something from it or not.
Sing or dance or do whatever leaves you feelin tingly inside. The road won't always be smooth, and temptations will most certainly arise...but just remember to lead with your heart and strength will never run out.