Warm Whispers ( I am weeping honey and milk)

A not so known song...but it is a song, I swear! Lol just heard it on Pandora and it reminded me of something I was thinking about the other day...

Ever since starting down this path to purify my body and regain balance in my life my spiritual side has sorta opened up. I've always had strong faith and believed in God, but I'm gaining so much more insight these days. Not just wisdom- but simple wisdom. I've read my share of spiritual books, sat in on many Sunday sermons, and watched movies about God and faith...but sometimes things just don't add up to me. I commend pastors though...what a tough job to try and preach the word of truth to such a diverse group of people.

Like I've stated before, I don't believe there to be one true way to live life. Happiness is different for every person. Yes we were all created from the same source, but we have been given the gift of individuality and free will. Which means that we can live our lives however it is we want to. This doesn't mean we should all go around smokin' crack and killing each other though. What it means is that we should live by what we, in our hearts believe to be true and right. And to do our best to respect the people around us. With that said, I can say this out of true respect...

The story in the bible of the wandering people in search of the land of milk and honey (haha see where the song for today's title comes in now) has been popping into my head SO much over the past couple of weeks. Which says to me that it must be something that is needing to be addressed in my life. I am no bible expert and I don't know if what I'm going to say is even close to being right...but I'm pretty sure that God promises these people an abundance of land that is flowing with milk and honey, in other words - paradise...well...if you like milk and honey lol. Okay, that's besides the point...so these people, they go in search of this paradise and wander around for like a billion years or something (extreme exaggeration because I don't know the actual amount of time lol comedy is always a safe bet when you haven't a clue what you're talking about). Well, eventually God appears to them and says something like "The land I have promised you is right here (somewhere close)...you've been wandering around for no reason." Haha sorry to anyone who knows the actual story, guess I shoulda maybe googled it before writing this, but I'm lazy. You got the jist of it though right? They are wandering in circles while the land is right in front of their eyes...simply within reach.

My take on the story? The land of milk and honey is the kingdom of Heaven that God has promised all of us, and we are the wanderers going in circles in search of what is already within us.

So here comes my true thoughts and the part that may be controversial : All these people out there who are going through long drawn out processes to obtain enlightenment...are they not taking the long route? If we already possess the kingdom of God within us shouldn't it be much easier to tap into than spending a life time of meditating for 20 hours a day? Are we putting hope in things like statues and emblems to bring us closer to God rather than just realizing that God is everywhere and we don't need any outside things to be close to Him? To me, faith should be something simple. Why would God make things hard on us? Especially since a lot of times things like that cost money and aren't available to everyone. We are simply made of love.

A lot of times people tend to complicate things. I've come to a place where I am beginning to realize that life is not this great big mystery that we need to figure out. Life is simply just that - life. Just go with it, love and appreciate everything you have and enjoy what you are doing every second of the day. Don't be a wanderer who is constantly searching for others to give you all the answer. Search within yourself. That's where the true answers lie.

Now I'm so not putting Jesus down by saying this, but one day I was thinking about being a follower of Jesus. In my head I asked the question, "Did God make us to be followers?" A quick response came back at me - "The only thing you should ever follow is your heart." Simple. While Jesus did wonderful beyond wonder things in the world, I can't strive to be like him. He is not me. I am different and have my own purpose in life. My heart will direct me toward the things I am capable of accomplishing. I am living life purely based on my highest light...which is different than your highest light. We are all at different stages in life, and all have different lessons to learn. I respect your path in life, and hope that you respect your own path as well. One day maybe we'll all be on the same page, but I'm not sure I'd want to walk around in a world full of people who were all the same.

Rock your individuality - it's beautiful.

It's Been a Long Time Coming, But I Know A Change Gonna Come (oh yes it will)

Okay, ever wish for something then have that wish finally come true? Pretty amazing right? Well, I feel on top of the world right now. Yes, I'm taking a huge risk. Yes, I'm leaving a job where I make more than enough money to get by. And, yes I have no idea what my life is going to be like once I make this huge leap...but not knowing is exciting! 

So what is it that I'm doing? I'm moving to Hawaii!! Ya...hard decision right? Lol. 

I do have to cut this short cuz I gotta go to work, but I just wanted to get one big Woo Whoo out before I ventured off into the day. I am going to miss everyone so much...and I am going to miss karaoke ha ha sad that I love it so much, but I honestly will miss going out and singing. Music is such a huge part of my life. Maybe there will be some musical opportunities for me in Hawaii...ya never know. 

It's funny, I was thinking about my life and all the events that led me up to where I am right now. If I never would have gotten sick, I never would have discovered all the life saving information I now know. I wouldn't have such a high appreciation for life, and I sure as heck wouldn't be so grateful for everything around me. Life is very valuable. Believe it or not, we all have a purpose of some sort. And I don't necessarily think we have to know what that purpose is. In my own life I've found it much easier to just go with the flow of things. We all have certain passions and dreams that have been placed in our hearts. Those dreams are there for a reason - just go with them. I know at times it may seem impossible to achieve the things we are being called to do, but that's where the whole faith thing comes in. We don't always have to know the way, the way will be shown to us. When we are ready for something, it will be presented to us. I like this : "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear." Just believe that you can do it, and everything you need will come flooding your way. 

I truly believe in my heart that our ways are paved out for us according to what it is we have set in our minds. Just make up your mind about what it is you want, and let God take care of the rest. Planning may be smart sometimes, but how great would it be to live life without a plan, and instead just take life as it came. This is a silly little analogy, but every time I buy food ahead of time it always ends up going to waist. Now, if I would have just waited to buy the food until I was going to eat it then it would have been used...and vuwalla - no waist! Think about that. 

Alright, alright gotta sign off. Work time! 

Enjoy the sun!! Vitamin D baby : )

Baby You're All That I Want, When You're Lyin Here In My Arms (I'm Finding It Hard to Believe We're in Heaven)

So0o yeah, I totally have had that song stuck in my head ALL day...but I'm not complaining, I love that song! And, I do feel that I'm finding it hard to believe that we can obtain heaven here on Earth. So, maybe it was a good title for my blog today. 

I know that the other day I was questioning my choice to follow a raw lifestyle...I call it a lifestyle, and not a diet because I loath the word diet lol. And it really is a total lifestyle transformation to venture down the raw path. Change in many people's eyes can be very...what's the word...stressful! Not only stressful for the person making the changes, but also for the people involved in their lives. I think a lot of people like to be comfortable and  know what to expect. So when we go around making changes it not only stirs up our world, but also stirs up the world of the ones we come in contact with. So, maybe it's sometimes important to change our surroundings when making a major lifestyle shift. 

 I'm remembering back to when I first decided to quit drinking. Now, I had drank for like 10 or so years I think...so this was something that was a big comfort in my life, and it was almost habit to go out on the weekends and indulge in the party scene. Well, when I made the choice to stop I still thought I could go to parties and have fun. Wrong! It was horrible! I felt like a crazy person...surrounded by the one thing I wanted to avoid made it almost impossible for me to think of anything else but slammin' back a couple of shots. So, what did I do? I left the party! Embarrassing? A little. And it sure was a huge shot at my ego to know that I couldn't even resist a drink, but I knew that drinking was something that was causing unhealthy patterns in my life, and I was ready to clean up. 

With that said, I would like to take back my statement from yesterday about being bored with raw food. I am not bored with raw food, I am just surrounded by way too much of the stuff I want to remove from my life, and it's clouding my vision a bit. I am such a firm believer in common sense, and eating a diet made up of fresh, living food to live a long healthy life is the most sensible thing that I've ever heard. Yes, I will be completely honest...over the last two days I've made some horrible meal choices...and I mean horrible. And what now? Well, now I feel like poo. Literally. My stomach is on the fritz...I'm super bloated and uncomfortable. I feel spacey and tired. From an outsiders perspective I'm sure it looks like I'm getting through my day just fine, but on the inside I feel weighed down and yucky. 

Solution? Oh, come on...you know what I'm going to say...to get back on track with what I know in my heart is the right thing to do! I remember a while back when I was really struggling with my health- I asked God to please show me a way to improve my situation so that I could live a happy life, and be better able to do all the things I want to accomplish within the world. I truly believe that God has shown me raw nutrition to use as a tool to achieve my goals. Purifying the body is such an important thing, and it opens up so much room to expand and grow within the world. When we feel good it's so much easier to do the things we really want to do. When we have energy it's a breeze to engage ourselves in positive activities. When we feel good about ourselves we connect with people better, and love spills out for everyone to see. 

I just re-read a paper I wrote for school. It was about raw food and all its benefits. I am so glad to have writing in my life. To be able to draw inspiration from something I've written myself makes it a whole lot easier than hearing something second hand. In my paper I talked so much about how great I felt, and how much energy I had. I am happy that God sends little reminders to me. I do not feel bad about the last couple of days, I know that everything is a learning experience...and being reminded of how I had to totally change my surrounding when quitting drinking has given me the courage to step out and change my surroundings again. I am now easily able to be around alcohol and not even think twice about having any. I know this will be true with my current eating habits as well. I am no saint, and I know that it will take more than just sheer will power for me to make this change, but I am ready. God knows this, and I am excited to see where this new journey takes me.

Let it be, Let it be...Let it be, Let it be (speaking words of wisdom, let it be)

So0o I'm bored...I'm bored with the whole raw food thing and trying to live my life to perfection. Can I do it, yes. Do I want to? I don't know. 

I just finished watching a youtube interview with a guy named Daniel Vitalis (thanks to ganstafied raw foodie Lisa Paris). Whoa! What a smart man. Shook up a lot of my views. It's actually kinda funny that I was drawn to watch that video today because it brought up a lot of issues that I've talked about in the past. Living life as a human, in my eyes, is all about freedom. Limitations shouldn't exist. We are unlimited beings, and are capable of so much more than we give ourselves credit for. 

So, with that said...wouldn't smacking the label of raw foodist on myself sort of be limiting? Yes, yes to all my raw food friends, I know how beneficial eating a pure diet is, and I'm not doggin' on it one bit...but I just feel that labels at times create walls. And I want to be a wall free, open to all things type of person. And this isn't just about food, it goes for anything...religion, career, relationships...making groups is a good thing, it can draw people who have like interests together...but then what about the people outside the group? Are they to feel unwanted because they don't fit in? Shouldn't we all be accepting of each other no matter what? What if there was no religion, no groups, no affiliations, and we all just lived open and free- Connecting with each other on the fact that we are all human beings, made from the same source, and not as people with set agendas and values. Judgment would be put aside because we would all just accept one another, and appreciate the differences each and every one of us possess. I'd like to hop from person to person and figure out as much as I can about the people I live around. Connection is what it's all about. 

I have found that a lot of times I don't want to tell people the way I eat because it creates judgment, and I don't want to be defined by what I eat. What I eat does not make me who I am. I was alive long before I ate the way I do today, and I will continue to live even if I choose to eat differently tomorrow. I know myself. And I know that the most important thing in life is to get joy out of the things you're doing. If you're not having fun with something then obviously there is something wrong. Life is not about putting a bunch of rules in place, it is about doing the best you can with what is presented to you. 

I've become obsessed with health, and in the process created an unhealthy view of the entire world. For a while I was constantly judging the people I saw eating and doing things that were, in my opinion at the time, unfit. My days revolved around looking at something and putting a good or bad label on it. I love this quote, "I define nothing, not beauty, not patriotism. I take each thing as it is, without prior rules about what it should be." Bob Dylan. Who am I to pass judgment? There is no right or wrong, good or bad. Everything is what you make it. 

It's no secret that we are all different, yet there has been an average number or percentage put on almost everything. I for one, am so not average...and I have come to realize that many statistics are probably flawed anyways. I am choosing to live my life based upon the inner feelings I have, which change daily. Today I may feel like doing or saying something, and tomorrow I may do or say something that totally goes against what I was feeling the previous day. And that's okay. That's what we are meant to do. We are meant to live, and follow our hearts. Be open and free. Don't pigeon hole yourself and then feel stuck in a box just because you don't want to go back on your word or what you may have defined yourself as in the past. Words are only words. Who really cares anyways? One of my friends had a quote up  that said (haha I love quotes) "The ones who matter won't care, and the ones who care don't matter." 

Just live, and let things be as they are. Let you be as you are. Cuz ultimately we were all built in perfect harmony to achieve whatever it is we were put here to do. So just live the best you can and trust in the love that embodies each one of us.

Now I've Had the Time of My Life (and I've never felt like this before)

Dirty Dancing...quite possibly the best movie on the planet. Gotta love Mr. Swayze. 

Okay, so day twelve was a success...even though I crammed myself full of almonds. But, this is a learning experience and I'm doing my best not to be too judgmental of myself. Good news? I don't have anymore almonds...so no more stuffing! lol. 

Day Thirteen: Get the Junk Food Out! (Outta Sight Outta Mind) 

Ya, so this day kinda sucks for me, cuz I live in a house full of junk food eaters, and I'm surrounded by junk food at work. I really like to make things hard on myself don't I? Lol. But no really, I've been thinking about this a lot, and I realized that if eating raw and being healthy is something that I truly want to do, then my outside circumstances shouldn't make that big of a difference or have too much effect on my daily decisions. If I make up my mind to do something, then nothing is going to steer me away from my goal. Ya, they might create bumps in the road, but who ever said change was easy? Who ever said life was easy?!? We aren't meant to coast through life without challenges, we're here to learn and grow strong. I am thankful for ever trial I've ever had, they have all molded me into the person I am today. My life has been full of ups and downs, and I know myself so much better for them. Everything truly does happen for a reason, we may not understand the reasons, but there is a force that is a million cazzillion times bigger than us that is at work. Just trust that everything is happening for the good of everyone. It's a design, a flow...go with it!

Im going, going, back, back to posting, posting (haha anyone remember that song?)

Yeah, I totally changed the words a bit, but if you can guess and remember that song...high five! :)

So0o I know I haven't posted as much as I usually do, and I did have every intention of posting over the weekend, but I ended up going camping. Woo Whoo for the sunny weather! I've been on my raw commitment thing for like 19 days now, but I haven't really been keeping up with the lessons, so I'm going to start where I left off....so this will be day twelve. 

Day Twelve: Break the Emotional Eating Cycle (Whoa boy, this couldn't have come at a better time!)

“Your life is the sum result of all the choices you make, both
consciously and unconsciously. If you can control the process of
choosing, you can take control of all aspects of your life. You can find
the freedom that comes from being in charge of yourself.” ~Robert F.
Bennett

True, true, true! Each and everyone of us has the choice to do or not do things. Anything we are faced with is ultimately in reaction to something we did in the past. Like right now, I am sitting at my computer so hot that I'm almost sweating because my body is trying to counteract and process all the fat I stuffed myself with. Today was a horrible day for me food wise. I started eating when I wasn't actually hungry, and then I couldn't stop! It was like I wanted everything in sight. I did manage to stick with my raw plan (okay, except for having a piece of banana bread...it was small, ok! lol), but nothing seemed to satisfy me. I ate a ton of nuts and now feel so full that I can hardly move. My poor body is doing it's best to digest everything, and I think that's why my temperature is up right now...or I may just need to open a window, I don't know. Anyways, I learned a valuable lesson today...don't eat when you're not hungry! I keep trying to tell myself this, but it just doesn't seem to sink in. I guess I'm just afraid that I will never get hungry lol cuz I don't! It's super weird. Guess I can try a little experiment within an experiment and see how long it takes me to get hungry. I mean, as long as I still have enough energy to do the things I need to do it shouldn't really matter how much I eat. Like I've said before, eating for me is more emotional than anything else anyways. The only time I feel bad about eating is when I eat when I'm not hungry...and today is a prime example of that. I love food, I really do...but I can't keep shoveling it into my mouth if my body isn't actually asking for it. If I eat when I'm not hungry it seems to stimulate my mind more than anything, and I think that's why I always have this empty feeling even though I'm full. Who knows though. I will just have to take it one day at a time and keep experimenting with myself. I also learned that when I'm craving something, it's not a smart idea to eat something else to try and get rid of the craving. For example: If I want cake, and eat a banana instead...I'm still going to want the cake, no matter how many bananas I eat! From now on I am going to wait until the craving for the cake goes away, instead of trying to suppress the craving with some other food. It just doesn't work, at least not for me. If it works for you, right on. Do whatcha gotta do people. We are all different. And, what do I gotta do right now? Go to sleep! My tummy hurts and my body needs time to digest all the freakin' almonds I ate...never again, never again! lol

SlaAaAaker....

Okay, Okay, I know what you're thinking...I've failed right? It's been like five days since my last post, but failure is not to blame...being super busy is! I am still very much on track with my raw food goals, and I've been stickin' to it 100%. I feel amazing! My body is opening up, and it's releasing toxins, negative feelings (that I've been harboring for only God knows how long), fat that was unneeded, plus a million other behind the scenes things that I don't even know about. The body is truly an amazing thing, it knows what to do, and it knows what not to do. It is always seeking balance, and if allowed, balance is exactly what it will find.

Yesterday was a great day of learning for me. I rode my bike to work, then headed to yoga to do not one, but two 90min. sessions! I honestly didn't think I could do it, but instead of dreading the 3 hours ahead of me I did my best to live in the moment and take each pose one, by one. And, it turned out to be the best sessions yet. I really didn't know it was possible for the human body to sweat that much lol but I can't even explain how amazing completing something like that is. You've been in a sauna before right? Well, multiply that great after sauna feeling by like a million and you might come close to the euphoric feeling Bikram Yoga can give you. There is the perfect balance of stress/relaxation. Every cell in your body is forced to come together and work toward one common goal...balance. And from that balance comes strength, peace, self-worth, and pretty much ever other positive word in the human language. I love it so much that I am seriously debating becoming an instructor. I feel so passionate about the benefits of yoga that I would love nothing more than to spread the word, and help bring it's healing benefits into others lives. I'm on a five for five kick right now...it's a deal my yoga studio is giving. It's a five week deal, and you must attend five classes a week during the five weeks (get it now - five for five. He he). Reward? A full month of yoga for free! That's like a $100 value people. Of course I jumped all over that! I just completed my first week...so now I'm more than ready to get my second one started. Oh shoot! I lost track of time...haha I gotta go to work! I will start re-posting stuff about the 21 day raw program later today.

Enjoy the day! :)

PS - I didn't get a chance to edit this, so if there are typos I apologize.