Come Shine Your Light, Come Shine Your Light, Come Shine Your Light On Meee

Alright. Once again I am being inspired by simple to do, around the house stuff. Don't ask me where or how I come up with these things...they're beyond me...

So0o let me paint the picture for you - 

I'm standing at the stove, heating up some water for a cup of tea. It's pretty late, and only the dining room light is on, making it a little hard to see...so I decide to flip on that little overhead stove light, and BaM...I notice a bunch of gunk all over my Mom's stove top. First thought? Eeww, what the heck! I couldn't even tell it was there until I turned the light on. Then what? Well, that little voice inside my head that likes to turn ever situation into some deep eye opening moment said, "That's what happens when you let the light in. All the junk is exposed. Not to make you feel bad, but to give you an opportunity to 'clean-up'." 

This thought took me back to the memory of when I first quit drinking. Boy was that a nightmare. I thought letting go of the bottle would have been a life enhancer for sure, but that year was probably one of the toughest of my life. I've never had so much anxiety! I knew quitting was what I wanted to do, but I never realized how much I had been using alcohol to suppress my feeling. Alcohol was my dark blanket. It covered up all my problems. Once I removed the blanket and let the "light" in, my problems were given a chance to be cleaned out. The light exposes us for who we are, and that's why it can be so scary at times to step into the light. People now a days spend all their energy working to cover up their problems, not expose them...but exposing them is the healthiest thing! Once you expose the problem you give the problem a way out. Instead of harboring your problem - let it go! 

Shine the light on that mess, grab a sponge from the sink and wipe it up! And keep that light on so the next time you make a mess you can easily clean it up :)

Yes, that first year without alcohol was tough...but now I can honestly say that my life is a million times better without it. Alcohol was my escape from the world, and with it gone I have so much more clarity and meaning in my life. 

What's your "alcohol?" What's your escape? It comes in many different forms. I'm sure I still have a couple "alcohols" in my life. We all have at least one. Find what yours is. Or better yet, let the light in and allow it to find your suppressant for you.

Life doesn't always make sense...okay...almost never does it make sense in my world LoL but there is a great design. I don't think anyone will ever truly figure out this design, and I'm not sure it's even healthy to try and figure it out...but there is something we can do...and that's to just accept that there is something bigger then us, and live each day knowing that the world is working in our favor. We are meant to be happy and balanced. If we'll just step aside and allow ourselves joy, then it will come. 

There really isn't much we have to do - we just have to believe.

Step by Step, Day by Day

Haha wish I could remember the rest of the words to that song...oh well...

Okay, so I'm back in Oregon and am feeling inspired to write a blog. Not sure if everything in Hawaii is just so perfect ;) that I don't feel the need to write, or what, but for whatever reason...here I am typing up a storm again. 

Where has this inspiration come from? Well...my Mom was showing me a bunch of these recovery pamphlet things she picked up from Church and I decided to read into them a bit further. If any of you are friends with my Mom on FB you know that she's in total inspiration/healing mode, which I applaud her on - way to go Mom! Keep doing what makes you happy, and don't worry about what I'm about to say about your pamphlets LoL :)

Anyways...I was looking through these pamphlets and instead of finding peace in them I started to get a little discouraged. Now, I know that these 12 step programs have helped numerous people recover from life-long destructive habits...but my brain must work a little differently, because in reading I couldn't help but think, "These are all just excuses." There were a handful of disorders, along with signs and symptoms discussed in the pamphlets, such as : Adult Children of Family Dysfunction - Judge self without mercy, hard to have fun, difficulty with relationships, constantly seek approval, look for immediate gratification, and they fear rejection or abandonment. Codependency - Assume responsibility for others feelings, difficulty expressing feelings, afraid of being hurt or rejected, afraid to express differing opinions, and they are embarrassed to receive recognition. The list goes on and on. Now, these are all very valid points, and if a person is feeling this way on a regular basis and it's controlling their lives then yes, there's a problem...but...haven't we all felt this way at one point or another? Is it really something that should be given a name or diagnosis? All it is, is the person holding onto whatever has happened to them in their past. It's nothing more then their own doing. We've all had unfortunate things happen to us, and we all have our problems that could use some fixing...but to me it seems like giving your problem a name and a reason is just a way of taking the responsibility off of yourself. 

Many of the root causes of the disorders were pointed back to childhood, which yes, is most likely where these problems arose from...but it wasn't your families fault, or your friends fault, or the guy in line who was mean to you's fault....it's your fault. Yep, I said it...your fault. No one can make you feel or do anything. You have the choice to make your own decisions. Yes, situations are unfortunate sometimes, but the only people that continue to have problems into their adult hood are the ones who refuse to let go of their past. The ones who constantly remind themselves of what happened to them when they were younger. You had a bunch of horrible stuff happen to you? Good, become stronger from it. What good is it doing you today to keep living in the crap you grew up in? 

I am all for acknowledging your problems so that they can be dealt with...but to give your problem a name, and then to define yourself by that problem...um...not so good. How are you ever going to get away from your problems if you label yourself by them? I feel comfortable talking about this because I know from personal experience what labeling yourself with a problem does to you, it makes you sicker and brings on more problems! When I was sick I spent years going to doctors trying to figure out what the heck was wrong with me, and the second I actually received a diagnosis was the second I got sicker. The thought of, "Oh, okay...so I really am sick," took hold of me and I used my "illness" as an excuse. I saw myself as a sick person, and a sick person was what I became. My stomach issues multiplied and everyday became a constant battle. I was blocking myself from getting better because I had labeled myself as sick. If you label yourself with something negative, you trap yourself. I know that not everyone's brain works like mine and that these programs do indeed work miracles, but I'm just saying...it doesn't make much sense to me, and it seems a lot easier to just say..."Yeah, I've got problems...but that ain't gunna stop me from being happy and continuing to live my life." Most of the time the problems will just lift on their own anyways. It's called realizing, accepting, and then living. Realize the problem, accept it, and then just live a happy life. Once you have realized and accepted something it makes living a lot easier. Ever been around a really annoying person or someone you just don't like? The moment you accept that person for who they are (annoying habits and all) is the moment you can tolerate them. Same goes with your problems. The moment you accept them is the moment you can move on with your life. Accepting doesn't mean labeling, it doesn't mean going around telling everyone...oh yeah, I act this way because I've got a co-dependency problem. No, it means realizing that you're on Earth, you're human, and that although there are a million things you probably could work on you are perfect right now. You are exactly where you are meant to be, and your life is in perfect alignment with your thoughts. Change your thoughts, change your life. Change your  environment, change your life. If you want to see a change you must make a change. If you want to get well, you must think well. 

Troubles do indeed exist in this world, I have accepted that...but I don't hold onto the troubles like I used to. It's kinda like taking life with a grain of salt...nothing is really THAT important. We all just wanna be happy...so why not focus on happy things? Address the issues, but do it in a healthy way. Turn inward and realize that only you can make you better. Those of you who believe only God can make you better, I agree 100%. When you turn inside you are turning to God. Without your permission God can't enter, so it really does all boil down to you. You know you better then anyone else, so don't rely on other people to make you happy or to "fix" you. That can only be done by your own work. There are unseen forces moseying about that will help you. Stop acting so desperate. Desperation is unattractive and in all honesty it's annoying. Believe in yourself and give yourself permission to be confident. You are just as able as the next person to do whatever it is you want to do. Quit limiting yourself. We are unlimited. We are boundless. We are infinite. We are all of the above and more...we just have to allow ourselves to be it.

Do yourself and the world a favor and lighten up :)

You Say It Best (when you say nothing at all)

Love me some country music! Actually, typing the lyrics to this long made me miss karaoke a little too much. I really need to find me a hoppin' spot out here somewhere.

AnyWho0o...

It is super, super early...I've been up since about 3am wide awake?! This is like the third day in a row now? It's really no biggie since I still have enough energy to get through my day, but it's just a little strange that I can only seem to sleep for like 2 or 3 hours at a time before I'm up and ready to go. Guess it's something I should just roll with.

I've been thinking off and on over the past couple of days about things I want to get off my mind. Words for instance. Language is such an important part of communication. It can make or break a conversation and it pretty much is our way of expressing ourselves to the people around us. Words have a ton of different meanings, and can even change meaning just by the tone of someones voice. 

So0o with that said, I must ask; have you ever been in the presence of a monotone speaker? You know...that person who says everything in the same tone of voice, with the same expression, as if there is no emotion what so ever behind anything they are saying? Um...talk about confusing! It's like the whole conversation takes on a new meaning. Not only are you trying to listen to what they're saying, but you are now forced to dissect ever word coming out of their mouth in order to make sense of what it is they're talking about. Brain explosion! How about when people ask you the same question over and over? Do you think my answer is going to change just because you're asking me again? Did you not hear me the first time? No, really...I'm confused...why are you asking me the same question five times in a row? Hearing problem? Do you like the sound of my voice? What? 

Or...haha you guys are gunna love me today, I'm totally ranting...it's great isn't it. How about when someone tells you to do the same thing over, and over, and over. Kinda makes you not want to do it, right? Frustration begins to take over, and all willingness is completely lost. Wouldn't life just be a whole lot easier if people butted out a bit, lived their life and let you live yours? Don't get me wrong, I love, Love, LoVe people. I wanna be around people and engage in conversation as much as I can, but things start to take a turn when the other person in the conversation is only thinking about themselves. It's easy to tell when a person is self-absorbed. Maybe I once was self-absorbed (or still am?) and that's why I can spot it, but it's definitely a major conversation turn-off to be in the presence of someone like that.

I got another one! Lol. How about the person who just always has to be talking? Talk, talk, talk. Never shut up. Always something to talk about. Gab, gab, gab. Hey yappy! It's cool. We can be quite. It's like they have to fill space so they MuSt think about something to talk about...and it's usually non-sense stuff, like making a big deal out of nothing, or um...repeating themselves for the 10th time.

Moral of the post? Use your freakin words like a normal human being so that other people can understand you clearly. Show some emotion in your face, change your tone of voice once in a while and maybe have a little more fun in life. Everything isn't a huge, major issue. Relax, people will want to be around you more. Guaranteed!

*Quick Note* I'm really not a horrible-complain about stuff type of person, but I think everyone can benefit from this little tid-bit of information. We're all here to get along, and how the heck are we suppose to get along with things like this holding us apart? Thanks for listening and I hope this smile :) can bring back SoMe form of positivity into your day.

Megan and Dr. Nick at Hawaiian Fasting Retreat Center

La De Dah

Well...I'm sittin here eating some watermelon and It's been a couple days since I last blogged, so I figured I'd write a little something. Only thing is, I can't really think of anything to write about! So, let see if I can pull something inspiring out of my eerr....outta thin air. LoL come on, my Grandma reads this - gotta keep it clean when I can! Love you Grandma :) 

Hhhmm...what do I wanna talk about? What has been on my mind? Well, I guess I can just start off by tellin ya what I've been up to. 

On Monday I started a high fruit (high carb.) raw food diet. I want to get in shape and ready for my upcoming yoga training, so I wanna make sure I'm feeling as good as possible. Now, if you've followed my blog you know that I've sorta struggled with the raw food. There is no doubt in my mind that I think it's the absolute best thing for our bodies to eat as pure as possible - which I've come to find that uncooked is as pure as it gets. Even though I believed in the raw 'path' I just couldn't seem to stick with it for longer than a week or so without caving into cravings for high calorie cooked foods. Why? I wasn't getting enough calories! I am super active - always on the go and constantly moving around...this requires a lot of fuel. If the gas tank on a car is empty it ain't gunna run - well, my tank was running on empty! I felt sleepy and kinda spacey a lot of the times, which is not what I wanted to feel like. Then, I came across this 80/10/10 book. Theory is to get 80% of your calories from carbs (higher calorie food) and the remaining 10/10 from protein/fat. Our bodies run on carbs. and fruit is the best carb source in the world...so I'm giving it a shot. I'm going on day 4 and I feel amazing! I've had so much energy. Eating a high volume of food is a little new to me though, and my body is adjusting...so it's not ALL peachy keen and perfect, but I know that there is always a transitioning period when life changes are made. Oh! I know what I can talk about! :)

It's becoming clear to me that having a plan is SO crucial! If you would have talked to me about planning things out about 2 months ago I would have laughed and said, "Plan? That's silly - just live. Agendas are stupid." While I do still believe it sounds nice to never have to write things down or think ahead...it just isn't realistic. We are adults. Which means we have responsibilities. Not all of us have responsibilities LoL...but most of do. You gotta have a plan. It's called setting a goal, and then working toward that goal. That's all a plan is - and it's so important! Without a plan we would just be wonder aimlessly through life...looking like lost little puppies. You gotta know what you want in life. Write it down, write it out and then act on it. Simplify your life to be geared toward what it is you want. Just know that planning isn't about being stuck in your ways and only doings things when and how you want them done - no, it's about being flexible and accepting the good with the bad. 

Being happy isn't about everything being perfect, it's about you being able to be happy even though things aren't perfect. Yeah, read that over a couple times. 

In any situation you can choose to be happy or angry. Bad things certainly do happen, but that doesn't mean we can't find a positive spin. When I first set out on this health journey I got sicker than ever! I had all these high expectation to be perfect since I was doin all these 'perfect' things. Whenever something was out of place, or I had a ache/pain I'd get all stressed out - "Why is this happening? I'm doing all the right things, I shouldn't be experiencing anything but perfection." You just can't live that way. Stuff isn't always going to go the way you had planned, getting to your destination isn't always going to be a straight narrow. There may be twists and turns that you didn't anticipate, but you gotta just buckle up and enjoy the ride. Who the heck wants to go on a roller coaster that only goes one way anyways? The loops and sharp turns are the reason we pay to ride - they're fun! Enjoy even moment of your life. You are having that moment for a reason. Don't try to figure out the reason (it will drive you crazy! Trust me - I know). Just live the moment and accept it for what it is. Be honest with yourself. Do what's right for you, and put a freakin' smile on your face :)

You Finally Know - You Control Where You Go (You Can Steer)

New Favorite artist? Missy Higgins! She's this chick from Australia, and I am absolutely in love with the tone of her voice. Her lyrics are pretty amazing as well. The title for today's post came from her song 'Steer' 

So, like the song says - we control where we go. We can map out a plan and steer our way positively through life. Common sense is such a gift. Questions are so powerful. If in everything you do, you ask yourself the question, "Is this adding value to my life and bringing me closer to where I want to be?" then getting to your destination would be a lot faster; that is of course if you go with your instincts and follow the progressive path. 

Trust me, I know this is such a hard task. Even though we all want to live the best lives imaginable we still somehow manage to screw things up. Why is this? Well, I'm certainly no expert, but I can tell you that from my own experience I've found that there is this deep seeded rebellious side to my personality. I almost always want to do the opposite of what I know I should do. LoL this doesn't mean that I act on those feelings of wanting to rebel, but the thought is there, and it pokes at me and causes all sorts of trouble. I'm getting a flash of the angel/devil thing on each shoulder. Haha. The good conscience and the bad conscience. I think the fact that we are all aware (well, most of us anyways) that there are good decisions and bad decisions makes complicating things a lot easier. 

There are always two routes we can take, and many times we spend our lives debating over which way to go. We stop at the fork in the road and stay there, thinking...instead of acting. We can think all we want, but we aren't going to go anywhere until we take a step. I am such a thinker. I think, think, think - but rarely ever act on what it is I know I should be doing. And, it's not even a matter of what I think I should be doing - it's more a matter of what I want to be doing. There are no should do or have to's in life. We can do whatever it is we want. We are free beings, equipped with minds of our own. Minds that can do, say, or think any and everything. If I am doing something it's because I want to. If I'm sitting on my rear being lazy - it's because I want to. If I am having a bad day and taking it out on other people - it's because I want to. Everything you do you are doing because you want to. Right after writing that sentence I had a scenario pop into my head of someone saying - "Well, I remember lots of times I've done things that I didn't want to do! What you just wrote is non-sense!" This could very well be true, but let me give you an example:

Your friend calls you and asks if you can help them move. You feel tired and really don't want to...but you go ahead and help them anyways. Okay, so you didn't want to help them move, but you did want to be a good friend. So, since you wanted to be a good friend, you did this thing you supposedly didn't want to do. Make sense? 

Just remember that there is a reason behind everything, and ultimately that reason comes back to you. You do things out of your own personal wants and needs. Everyone's desires are different. Continue asking yourself what it is you want out of life. Do you want lots of friends? Then be a good friend. Do you want lots of money? Then be a dedicated worker. Do you want a fit body? Then work out. Do you want to be healthy? Then eat the right foods. To every action there is a reaction. You get back exactly what it is you put out into the world. Your life is nothing more than a product of all the actions you've taken in the past. Does this mean that you are stuck and are going to have to pay for everything you've ever done? Absolutely not! The world doesn't hold grudges. As long as you make up your mind to start working in a more positive direction, one that is in line with your personal goals, then things will start to shift. Just trust in yourself and your capabilities and endless opportunities will come your way. Make a wish, but don't sit back and expect it to happen on wishing alone. Action is required, not all the work can be done through the mental side of things. Movement on the physical side is just as important. Life begins with a thought, but it continues through your dedicated action.

Inspiration From The Garden

Today was day two of my little garden making experiment. Dang, there is a ton of work that goes into making a garden. I had absolutely NO idea what I was getting myself into. 

Here's the thing - the place we decided to put the garden once had grass, so there are a butt load of roots all over! I looked up some information on roots and found out that it's best to remove all the roots so that they don't steal the nutrients from the stuff I'm planting. Pain in the rear! My back has never hurt so bad in my life! But, ya wanna know something good? As I was whacking away with my little garden tool I had a revelation! LoL okay maybe revelation is too strong of a word - I had some insight? You can call it whatever you want, but here is what I started thinking about....

I was pulling up this monster root and realized that I still had half way to go with the area of the garden I decided to work on. I said to myself, "oh my gosh! I just want to leave the roots! I'm sure the garden will still grow, this is too much damn work!" The roots were deep and my energy level was coming to its end, then I had this thought pop into my head: Sure, you can leave the roots, but you know they're going to suck up all the nutrients...if you want your garden to thrive then the space needs to be cleared. Can anyone guess what my next thought was? Shut up little voice inside my head! That's not what I want to hear!! LoL then came on the mature/adult thought...

Holy Crap! That totally relates to how the roots of  our past pull our bodies down. 

When we hold onto the past and let it control our life, we are allowing those roots to dig their way in. The past can weigh on us, and just like the roots that steal nutrients from a garden - roots of the past can steal the joy right out of you. 

What else? Roots are a b.i.t.c.h to remove! Like I said, my back has never hurt so much in my life. My arm is sore, and I probably have a sun burn....but it is all worth it! Putting in the work now is going to make it so that my garden produces amazing plants! Anything worth having is worth working for - you can't expect everything in life to be easy. Changing and recreating the person you want to be is a lot of work. You've spent your entire life building up your current belief system, don't think you can just turn all that around in one day. It will take time - but as long as you have a clear focus on where and who you want to be, then most of the work is already done. Now all you gotta do is wake up each day with a smile on your face and be grateful for all the things you have in your life. The roots will begin to pull themselves up and out of your body. It may be uncomfortable and you may want to give up and just leave them there, but just remember how great you'll feel once you are root free and able to live at your maximum potential. Nothing will be sucking your energy, and you will feel lighter and more able to carry on the tasks of each day.

Life is about learning. We are not meant to carry around our past like a dark and terrible thing - we are meant to learn from it and move on. Who cares what you did in the past - it's the past, let is PASS. Only you, and you alone have the power to change who you are. Just because you did something you weren't proud of last year, or even last night - so what! Make the decision today to start living in accordance with what you know to be right. Our past does not define us. We in this present moment define who we are. You can mix it up and change it around as much and as often as you like. Have fun with yourself (keep your minds clean now) and enjoy every moment that you are blessed with.

Okay, now I'm super hungry and going to enjoy myself a yummy in my tummy  vanilla/banana smoothie :)

(Nick if you're reading this I hope you got a laugh outta that yummy in my tummy part)